Hello loves, February is finally here. How’s your start to the year been, so far?

It’s not the most impressive time of year, is it?

Long, dark and baron after the festivities of the end of the year before.

And, this year, it feels like it’s been raining every day for the last 48 days.

Sorry, it’s only been just over 30 something days but it has felt sooo much longer.

Beyond that, it feels like the world has really lost its head at the moment and we are living through dark times.

Our collective consciousness will (hopefully) start to turn a corner soon.

(Neptune is on the move and meets with Saturn, creating a different frequency. If you know, you know - that’s my brief Astrology weather report).

If your get up and go hasn’t quite arrived, or what’s going on in the world is weighing you down…. your energy levels will start to return soon, with the arrival of more daylight. Hold on in there.

It’s winter and we should be wintering, rather than pushing on.

As I look out of the office window, it’s just about light at 5pm now so the spring is coming.

And the sun was out for at least an hour today...

We always find January a good time to hatch plans, when it comes to our own business and the businesses that we work with.

It’s worth getting some head space to contemplate these questions, if you have an aspiration for 2026, or run a business.

It’s a great time to stand back and look at the bigger picture.

What do you want to achieve this year and is your current reality reflecting where you’d like to be?

If not, what steps do you need to take to get there? 

Lisa and I have been meeting with clients this month, to see how we can support them to achieve their goals this year.

Taking tasks away from clients gives them the headspace to spend time working on what they want to achieve.

Whether we offer help with business admin, social media / content creation and digital marketing.

We have also been looking at our own plans, and business plans, for the year and will be introducing some new service packages for specific tasks soon.

One of our new packages will be a physical office tidy and organising paperwork systems, something that Lisa really enjoys doing for existing clients.

Most of us could probably benefit from this service.

Around the house, I’ve been clearing out old drawers and cupboards which has felt very cathartic and good for the soul.

Why do we collect so much stuff? 

Last weekend, I was clearing out drawers that haven’t been touched since we moved house in 2018. 

Those drawers now hold items that we actually use and need to store, rather than 10 pairs of 4D cinema glasses and old oud sticks, purchased years ago, that really don’t smell as they should... Ewww!

Elsewhere, Mr P and I have been walking around the estate for 20 mins each morning before starting work.

It’s been good for us to get back into the routine of walking regularly, as it dropped away at the end of last year when we became busy.

Getting out before settling into work and being at our desks, is a nice way to clear your head in the morning.

And it’s ticked off for the day, without really having to think about it.

It will, of course, be much nicer when the sunrise is earlier and the rain stops for more than 5 minutes.

Lisa had a break earlier this year. She travelled to Malta and DJ'd at a bash for a friends birthday.

She has also produced a mix for Apple FM - Go Lisa!

I’ve also been doing a little more painting with any spare time.  Snowy trees was January’s go to.

I’m hopeful here as well… that my painting will improve with practice 😬

When the weather improves, I can start to paint some furniture too.

Now that February is here, the year will start to gallop along😊🐎

Especially as the year of the Fire Horse begins later this month.

We hope you have a great February.

Treat yourself, and others, to some love this month.

Until next time, it’s bye for now.

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve given an update on life at Bee Time Clever.

This year has whizzed by so quickly, and December always seems a good time to reflect on the past year, before heading into the Christmas festivities and New Year.

So what’s been happening here this year?

Firstly, I decided to expand the business earlier in the year.

When I originally started out on this “business” ride, it was with no intention of supporting anyone other than little old me.

But I came to realise that you can either stay where you are with no change and in a lovely safe space, which is fine if that’s what you feel suits you, or you can expand your horizons.

One of the people who inspired me to be a Virtual Assistant, and work as a freelance, was my friend Lisa.

Lisa has been a VA for 15 years and was very encouraging when I made the crazy choice to leave the corporate world, and take the leap into business.

At the latter end of last year, we were meeting for dinner once a month to catch up and discuss plans to take over the world 😂🌍 

Then on one of those ladies dinner dates.. deep into winter, about this time last year, it came to us.. why not work under the same brand? 

Lisa would come and work with me, whilst still retaining her own original clients, and we will both work under the brand banner and grow the business further.

We have been working together since May, and it’s been great to have someone to talk to and bounce ideas off.. a colleague and friend.

Our values are the same and we both look at life through a “not too serious” lens.. because there’s enough misery in the world.

We do, sometimes, have to reign in the comedy double act though😂 she’s her Lennon to my McCartney (Libra and Gemini).

Emily also joined us earlier in the year to help out with some of the social media work. She has recently moved to Brighton to start a new life, so we wish her well as she goes on her way.

Lisa and I are looking forward to having a strategy and social session this month, to plan for next year and celebrate our success so far.

In March, I started hosing a networking group in my home town for Business Women In.

The BWI groups are always friendly, supportive and exactly what networking should be, a pleasure and not a chore to attend.

I have been attending various groups across Wiltshire and South Gloucestershire since I started out in business, 3.5 years ago, and have made a lot friends through the groups.

There was no BWI being run in my home town so I thought, why not host it here.

Along with some of the regulars who come along, I am proud of the group that we have collectively built together to be a lovely safe space for women business owners.

Personally, I have been looking for ways to make better use of my own time… creatively, whilst trying to spend less time online (very difficult when you’re a Social Media Manager).

Time seems to be flying by so quickly the older I get, and I want to make the more use of my personal time on this planet.  Easier said than done, when we all have so many demands on our time.

Especially when you are a business owner as there are so many hats to wear (sales, finance, marketing…etc.).

Making more use of my own personal time is something I strive to get better at, as we head into the another year – 2026. 

Bananas, it seems like 5 minutes ago that it was 2008.

I would like to do more writing, photography and painting.

I’ve made a start over recent weeks.

As I complete putting up the Christmas decorations and the last of the fairy lights (we have a few 😁 my husband said NASA called recently to say they could see our house from space).

I’m looking forward to the rest of this month and having some time off to recharge my batteries, before going again in the new year.

I want to wish you and your families a very merry Christmas and happy, healthy new year.

And remember, life is short.. precarious even, so if there’s something that you’ve always been meaning to do, don't put it off.

I just love an Espresso Martini, it's one of my go to cocktails and as it's World Cocktail Day, I thought I'd share some of my experimental mixes.

Why an Espresso Martini?

For two reasons - firstly, it's a really delicious drink choice to get your night started in the right way, or as a substitute for dessert after dinner.

Secondly, you can make it with different flavours and have a bit of fun with how it tastes.

Usually made up of cold vodka, rich and cold espresso, and coffee liqueur - Espresso Martini is shaken until super frothy and poured into a chilled martini glass.

It's a very decadent and delicious drink :)

The combination of flavours is smooth with a bit of sweet, followed by a deep coffee sensation.

An Espresso Martini is your go to for a little caffeine and a lot of class.

Not a fan of espresso? You can swap it out for strong cafetière (French press) coffee.

No instant coffee granules here though please. This cocktail deserves better.

And if you’re looking to cut back on caffeine, you can always go for decaf coffee.

If coffee liqueur is one of your ingredients, your drink will still have a bit of caffeine so it won’t be totally buzz-free.

And if you're off the alcohol, there's a non alcoholic version to try as well.

Once you've nailed the classic, it's time to try those different flavours.

It's all about fun, experimentation and seeing what works.

And remembering what ingredients you put in, so you know how to make it next time around.

☕🍵Classic Espresso Martini

Ingredients:

• 50 ml vodka (go for a high end brand)
• 30 ml coffee liqueur (Kahlúa or Tia Maria Cold Brew)
• 25 ml freshly brewed espresso (cooled)
• 10 ml sugar syrup (1:1 ratio of sugar and water)
• Ice
• 3 coffee beans (for garnish)

Instructions:

1. Brew your espresso and let it cool slightly — you want it warm, not hot.
2. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
3. Add the vodka, coffee liqueur, espresso, and sugar syrup.
4. Shake hard for 15–20 seconds. (The vigorous shake helps create the signature foamy top.)
5. Strain into a chilled martini glass using a fine strainer to get a silky texture.
6. Garnish with three coffee beans in the centre (the coffee beans represent health, wealth, and happiness).

Here are a few yummy flavour twists to get you started:

• ☕🌿 Mint Espresso Martini– Fresh, cool, serve with an after eight mint chocolate or those mint gold coins.
• ☕🍊 Orange Espresso Martini – Bright and zesty, and a little bit dangerous (go easy!).
• ☕🍬 Salted Caramel Espresso Martini – Rich, indulgent, perfect as a substitute for dessert.
• ☕🚫 Non-alcoholic – All of the taste, without the sore head.

☕🍊 Orange Espresso Martini

Ingredients:

• 50 ml vodka
• 30 ml coffee liqueur
• 25 ml freshly brewed espresso (cooled)
• 15 ml orange liqueur (e.g. Cointreau or Triple Sec)
• Zest of ½ an orange (plus more for garnish)
• Ice

Instructions:

1. Shake vodka, coffee liqueur, espresso, and orange liqueur with ice.
2. Add a strip of orange zest to the shaker before shaking for extra aroma.
3. Double strain into a martini glass.
4. Garnish with a twist of orange peel or a dehydrated orange slice.

☕🌿 2. Mint Espresso Martini

Ingredients:

• 50 ml vodka
• 30 ml coffee liqueur
• 25ml Creme de menthe
• 25 ml freshly brewed espresso (cooled)
• 10 ml sugar syrup
• Mint leaves for garnish
• Ice

Instructions:

1. Gently muddle mint leaves in the shaker.
2. Add the rest of the ingredients with ice and shake vigorously.
3. Double strain into a martini glass to remove mint bits.
4. Garnish with a fresh mint sprig or float a mint leaf.

☕🍬 3. Salted Caramel Espresso Martini

Ingredients:

• 50 ml vodka
• 30 ml coffee liqueur
• 25 ml freshly brewed espresso (cooled)
• 15 ml salted caramel syrup (adjust to taste)
• Pinch of sea salt
• Ice

Instructions:

1. Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice.
2. Shake hard, then double strain into a martini glass.
3. Garnish with a light dusting of sea salt or a caramel drizzle on the glass rim.

☕🚫 4. Non-Alcoholic Espresso Martini

Ingredients:

• 50 ml cold brew coffee or strong espresso
• 25 ml non-alcoholic coffee liqueur alternative (or cold brew concentrate)
• 15 ml sugar syrup or vanilla syrup
• Dash of bitters (optional, adds an extra layer of taste)
• Ice
• (Add in muddled mint leaves for mint flavour 🌿, orange juice 🍊 for orange flavour and salted caramel syrup ☕🍬 for salted caramel flavour).

Instructions:

1. Shake all ingredients with ice in a shaker.
2. Strain into a chilled martini glass.
3. Garnish with 3 coffee beans or a dusting of cocoa powder.

Happy experimenting!

I'm still enjoying this continuing business... ride, two and a half years in.

Crazy really.

I love this time of year.. Autumn into winter... and then into party season.

The summer’s great when the weather is good and it’s holiday time, away from work.

But I’ll take Halloween and fireworks, roast dinners and red wine over it any day.

I’m down for cosy soups and porridge for breakfast, dark afternoons and dark mornings.

Especially now that I run my own business, work from home, and don’t have to rush anywhere on those cold, dark mornings.

I like it when the clocks change and there's festive activities to look forward to.

Come January, I’ll be well and truly over the darker days but for now I’m onboard.

And that recent cold snap made it feel so festive as well, especially as it snowed for a few hours.

Yes, I was out on my lunchbreak catching snow flakes in my mouth 😊

I prefer it to this wet, stormy weather. When is the festive frost coming back?

You may not know this about me… I’m a total foodie and my life revolves around food.

What’s next to eat, what’s for dinner tomorrow?

If I’m not eating it, I’m talking about it or reading about it.

It’s pretty much all my husband hears on a daily basis 😂

I used to work in the food industry and travelled to international food shows as part of my role, all that great food - absolute heaven!

Nowadays, we’ve been eating much cleaner food. Nothing too processed and much less added sugar (apart from the odd treat).

Lots of colour, traybakes, vegetables (much to my husband’s annoyance) butternut squash and sweet potato. Yum!

Plus, we’re trying our best not to drink alcohol during the week…

(This was a bad habit that we picked up during the pandemic, and it’s taken a while to shake off).

I’ve been trying my hand at more mocktails, rather than cocktail recipes.

Although the odd one or two cocktails have snuck in.

My discipline for exercising this year has been really good and I've been spending an hour to myself in the mornings before starting work, to set myself up for the day.

Whether that’s for doing weights in the front room, meditation or a bit of yoga.

It really works to spend some time on me, before cracking on with anything else.

On the business front - After finishing my diploma and having had a very busy summer socially, it’s been good to get back to working on the business itself, as well as completing client work.

As a business owner, you have to learn to try new and different things to adapt and grow.

Making sure that you take care of everything can be hard, as well as having to wear so many hats – Sales, Marketing, Finance, New Products.. the list goes on.

Without meaning to sound like a contestant on Strictly, the whole process of being a business owner is such a journey of learning. 

What’s exciting is the fact that there is no restriction for spreading your wings, unlike when you’re an employee.

Hiring managers expect specific skills for a role and then, you’re pigeon holed into performing just those tasks on a daily basis.

There isn’t much room for development and growth.

It’s quite the opposite when you’re running the show…

So in order to grow, and with a sense of business adventure, I’ve been working on some new services and have recently launched them into the world.

They are:

• A bespoke, branded customer review process for my clients to send out to their clients.
• A social media power hour, a 1:1 consultation with me.

And these new services are on an introductory offer until the end of 2024.

I’ve also just been in receipt of a new gadget which is exciting!

I’m hoping to master it over the next few months, which may be the start of another new service further down the line.

Watch this space!

That’s why running my business is so very liberating, even if it can be tough.

Being brave and trying new things is definitely the way to thrive.

Plus, I’ve never been a conformist and being restricted to doing the same things over and over again is.... well.... Boooring!

Having the opportunity to continue to learn new skills and realise how much more I can achieve and grow, is hugely gratifying.

It’s a ride of self-discovery. I won’t use that J word again! Haha 😊

There really are no limitations and we should really all feel like that in life.

It’s time to look towards 2025 and where to go/what to do next.

It's exciting.

And as we approach the end of the year, I’m looking also looking forward to a bit of a break

A time to take stock and be proud of how far this business, and I, have come.

Also some time to watch Christmas films and eat mince pies.

Some old work friends know me for being a mince pie fiend, and I would usually be scoffing them by end of September. 

I've only just started to eat them recently.

That’s absolutely unheard of at this time of year!

Oh, there I go again.. talking about food :)

Enjoy the craziness that is the rest of the festive season.

I’m off to work out some Christmas cocktail recipes - drinking and eating is well and truly back “ON” again over the next few weeks.

And to bask in the glow of the fairy lights when it's dark.

Ooooh I do love a fairy light.

Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a bright, expansive new year ahead.

Did you know that it's National Daiquiri Day today?

They seem to have an awareness day for most things, these days.

I'll happily jump on this one though.

The Daiquiri was named after a beach in Cuba and that's where the drink originated, before it was introduced to the New York clubs in about 1900.

Daiquiri's became really popular during the 1940s. Because of the war, vodka and whisky were rationed but there was plenty of rum available. Wahey!

The main ingredients of the blend are white rum, lime juice and sugar syrup.

You can mix up the other ingredients by either adding the above to coffee or chocolate liqueur, or as traditionally known - by using fruit.

There's always the option of frozen daiquiri as well using crushed ice which is, for sure, just an adult slush puppy... minus the blue flavouring.

(Why was raspberry flavour blue?? Weird!).

For a mocktail, make up the below recipe using the fruit of your choice. Switch the rum and liqueur with juice or fruit puree.

For my Daiquiri, you'll need a blender but this can also be made with a cocktail shaker as well. Use half the amount of ice.

Fruit Daiquiri - Serves 2

60 ml of White Rum

60 ml of Strawberry Liqueur

Juice of a lime

Teaspoon of sugar syrup (easy to make, mix 1 tablespoon of sugar with about 15ml of boiling water and a dash of vanilla essence).

Half a punnet of strawberries.

Handful of blueberries (about 20).

Pineapple chunks in one juice.

Crushed ice (about a tray's worth).

Throw everything in to a blender, whizz up and serve.

Simple as that and voila.. you have yourself a refreshing drink.

Enjoy!

It's me, I'm back! 

I know! It's been a while since my last blogging effort. 

I've been studying a marketing diploma since the beginning of the year. 

Of course, in January I was all like... Well, I can do everything.

Study a diploma, run a business, go networking, run a household, write a blog and still have a life. 

😂 Yeah right! 

Clearly, that was not the case so I made sure that studying was the priority.

Most other things took a back seat.

I said no to having much of a life and a fair few social invitations. 

I knuckled down and with my super sharp focus, I  managed to attain a diploma. 

With flying colours! 

And I'm now a certified Social Media specialist, which backs up my experience of working on Social Media accounts for clients.

So I'm feeling super proud of myself 😎 

However, since my exam, I've also been feeling very demotivated with all things relating to my business. 

(Other than client work, of course!).

Plus I caught Covid.. which seems to be doing the rounds again.

So I've had a couple of holidays and spent some time not doing a great deal.

Other than taking in the sea air and drinking a fair bit of wine 🥂 

It's been really nice. 

Instinctively, I've known it's not been the time to push, or to hatch plans. 

Because being "ON" all of the time can be quite exhausting. 

Bee Time Clever was two years old recently (and still going - through a time when people haven't had a disposal income - woohoo, can't believe it really). 

So I've been giving myself a huge pat on the back and reflecting on the last two years, before pushing on again. 

And now that it's the second half of the year, it's time for a different focus.

So what comes next?

Who knows (certainly not me at the moment 😂).

But my mojo is starting to come back, in between a busy summer of social activities.

And I've got a list as long as my arm, of things I've neglected in the last six months.

That's ok though because sometimes, we have to recognise that we don't have all of the answers or everything sown up.

And that there is strength in uncertainty.

I always trust that the universe will light the way in any situation.

Because if something is for you, it won't go past you... 

Watch this space and I'll keep you posted about plans for the rest of the year.

Hope the first half of 2024 has been kind to you.

Here's to the second half and, hopefully, for the sun to shine for more than a couple of days.. sometime soon.

Before October arrives!

Chocolate covered strawberries and raspberries are nice and easy to make... fun and a little messy, and might just keep your kids entertained for 30 minutes this half term.

Chop up and add to pancakes with lemon and creme fraiche, or enjoy as a romantic dessert.

I've used 70% dark chocolate which is the healthier variety containing vitamins and anti-oxidants, and less refined sugars/additives.

If you're not a dark chocolate fan, either milk or white chocolate can be used. However, they have a different melting point so be aware of that.

My toppings are from the cake decorating section in the supermarket.

It's good to experiment with toppings so use what you like.

Ingredients

• Bar of 70% dark chocolate
• Honeycomb sprinkles
• Freeze dried raspberry sprinkles
• Macadamia nuts
• Dark choc0late shavings
• White chocolate shavings
• Chopped glacier cherries
• Cocktail sticks for raspberries

Method

Cover a tray with greaseproof paper.

To melt the chocolate:

Place the chocolate in a glass bowl, over a pan of water on the hob and heat through gently to melt (make sure the water isn't touching the bottom of the bowl).

Or

Break the chocolate up into a microwavable bowl, cook for two to three minutes on high power - check and stir throughout to make sure the chocolate doesn't overheat.

Use a spoon to cover your strawberries or raspberries in chocolate, over the chocolate bowl to catch the mess.

Take another spoon to cover the fruit in the topping of your choice, again over the topping bowl to minimise mess.

Place on your tray and repeat.

Once the tray is full, refrigerate for an hour to help the chocolate reset.

Easy, tasty and relatively healthy.

Have a good week.

I mean, it's really nuts how the last four years have flown by.

It didn't help that we were locked in our houses for two years during the pandemic, but then 2023 seemed to fly by as well.

January is now over :) and behind us.

The time between the start of December to the end of January is a strange one, really, when you think about it.

There's a load of festive stuff going on, total over indulgence on food and drink, socialising, parties, glitz, sparkles and glamour.

Then January arrives and it's dark, bleak and not very inviting (and very different from the previous month).

Getting back into a routine can be a bit of a struggle to start with, after some time off.

The world is going through some dark times and it's soooo dark in the mornings!

The light is coming back though, day by day, and the sunrises are very pretty in winter.

Did you take part in dry January? I didn't because January is depressing enough.

We did cut down on the amount of booze being consumed though (considerably).

And we started to eat a bit more healthily - making things from scratch, rather than buying shop bought processed foods.

Did you make any New Years resolutions and if you did, how are they going?

My resolution this year is to be a bit kinder to myself.

I'm going to try and finish work at 5.30pm every day (there, I've written it down so hopefully will be able to keep it up).

Work is busy and that's great, but it can be very easy to be sucked in to working longer hours when you work for yourself.

I'm getting back into the old routine and exercising in the front room in the mornings, before starting work.

This was 2023's new year resolution so I've been relatively consistent all year.

It's great because by 8am my exercise for the day is done and I don't have to think about trying to fit it in later on.

Plus it's a little bit of me time before work.

Running is also back, as my foot injury is finally starting to feel much better after six long months of not being able to run.

It's been a long, patient wait to finally get back to something I love.

Short runs and incredibly slow times to start with.

It's more of a quick walk really.. haha!

I'm hoping to get more sleep too by minimising screen time later in the evenings, and reading a book in bed (rather than looking at my phone).

My new big thing is tea!

Ok, so the Chinese have been at it a long time but it's relatively new to my daily routine.

We bought a reused tea pot from Stroud Market last week and some loose tea from the health food shop... so middle aged!

We've also started enjoying a green tea every morning and I've been having a decaf coffee at the end of a meal out.

It's really nice, no idea why I never went for it before.

Intermittent Fasting is something we're trying in the mornings so that we eat in a 10 hour window during the week, Monday to Friday.

It's like the 16:8 fasting plan but we're going for 14:10 to ease ourselves in.

Hopefully, the extra pounds put on during lock down by gorging on too much banana bread, will finally shift.

And we don't eat too many home made imitation takeaways at the weekends.

It's all about balance :)

We enjoyed watching Traitors which got us through the month and got back out on our bikes, when it stopped raining for a minute.

January didn't actually feel that long for once, but it's great that the light is coming back and spring will be here soon.

That's all for now, musings over and out. Have a good rest of week.

It's Burns night this week, Thursday 25th January.

If you're celebrating the life of one of Scotland's most famous poets, Robert Burns.

Here's a couple of tasty cocktails, and a mocktail, to try with your neeps and tatties.

Tartan breeze - Something to warm your tootsies when the arctic winds blow.

The orange juice in this cocktail calms the heat from the Whisky down, without taking away from the flavour.

Tartan Breeze Recipe

1/2 measure of Scotch Whiskey (15ml)

1/2 measure of Apricot Brandy (15ml)

One measure of Orange Juice (30ml)

Dash Angostura Bitters

Ice cubes

Shake the liquid ingredients well together over ice, strain into a glass and serve with more ice, and an orange peel twist.

Mary Queen of Scots - A drink fit for any queen, or poet.

Go easy on old Mary as this is a potent mix, and possibly a night cap cocktail.

It's a fine mix of sweet and sour. Surprisingly good, but slightly lethal. Drink it slowly (you have been warned).

Mary Queen of Scots Recipe

One lemon wedge

Icing sugar to put a dusting on a plate

Cracked ice

One measure of Scotch Whisky (30ml)

One measure of Drambuie (30ml)

One measure of Green Chartreuse (30ml)

Chill your cocktail glass in the fridge for 15 mins before prepping your drink.

Rub the cut lemon around the rim of the cocktail glass and dip in the icing sugar (use a side plate).

Put some cracked ice into a mixing glass. Pour the Whisky, Drambuie and Chartreuse over the ice and stir to mix. Strain into the prepared glass.

Cinders Mocktail - You shall go to the tartan ball.

This is a lovely little mocktail that despite the content of fruit juice, is rounded off with the bitters to give a flavour that's not too sweet.

Cinders Recipe

Juice of 1/2 an orange

Juice of one lime

150ml pineapple juice

Several drops of angostura bitters

Ice

Soda water or ginger ale to taste, orange and lime slices to decorate.

Shake the fruit juices and a few drops of the bitters together. Strain into a large glass, add a few more dashes of bitter and top up with Ginger Ale or Soda Water. Decorate with fruit slices.

Enjoy! Until next time :)

However, despite having that desire or want to do a certain thing, they’re just not taking the steps to get there, and this made me curious.

What exactly is it that holds us back?

When we know that we want to do something to get on but we actually do the opposite and do nothing about it. Why is that?

I was thinking about the lack of action and how it can be turned around.

When I was much younger (of course, I only look 21 really ;), I thought that the only "thing" that I was any good at was Netball.

It was a sport I loved playing. I honed my netball skills, and my environment reflected this back to me.

I'd won a few Netball awards at school, and at club level, but because I wasn't comfortable and confident in other "things", I didn't really make much of an effort in other areas.

This, in turn, affected my confidence in my own abilities.

And that's such a very limiting belief process.

Over the years though, my confidence has grown and grown by trying new things and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

And then practising those new "things" on a regular basis to get better at them.

Our brains like to keep us in a lovely safe place, so trying new things makes our brain go off like some kind of emergency beacon.

It comes up with lots of excuses not to try something new, or to push ourselves, as it’s trying to protect us (from made up negative scenarios that are never likely to happen).

Are you getting in your own way? If you are, hopefully, this blog post will help you to become a little bit braver.

Let’s look at the lack of action first…. and some of the reasons behind it.

Feeling overwhelmed

There may be so many things to tackle on your wish list, or your to do list, that you feel completely overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.

Feeling lost

When you’re feeling lost and lacking direction, it's really difficult to take action because you just don’t know what to do.

Fear of negative feedback or rejection

Worrying that people won’t like you, or what you have to offer. It’s in our natures to want to be socially accepted.

Fear of making mistakes

As humans, we strive to get everything right all of the time.

We worry what people will think if something goes wrong so this stops us from taking risks, or trying new things.

Changing jobs / careers or leaving an unhappy relationship

Maybe you're not happy in your current job, or relationship, or you don't actually like the career path you've chosen.

This is a big change and can feel very challenging to face, and fix.

Time

Sometimes, we can’t find the time to spend on our plans, or we avoid what we want to work on and fill our time with other plans, rather than actually doing “the thing”.

So how do we start to tackle whatever it is that we want to achieve, but somehow seem to put off?

Practise self-compassion and awareness

Being nice to yourself and giving your panicking brain a pep talk can really help.

To summon courage, you really need to become your own biggest cheerleader.

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you make mistakes or face setbacks.

Avoid negative self-talk and replace it with positive talk instead.

Be your own supportive friend.

Tell yourself things like “you can do this” because here’s the thing…..

You can do this!!

Goal setting

What is it that you want to achieve and when do you want to achieve it by?

Setting an overall goal will help with motivation along the way and gives an outcome to focus on.

Break it down

Break bigger challenges down in to smaller goals.

Every time you achieve one of the smaller sections of a bigger goal, will give you a confidence boost.

Celebrate the completion of the smaller sections of your bigger goal (again, going back to being your own cheerleader).

Sometimes, the sheer size of a goal can be overwhelming or the fear of the unknown can lead to inaction.

Breaking it down into smaller steps makes it more achievable and less daunting.

Develop a plan of action.

Outline the steps you need to take to achieve your goals.

Having a plan can provide you with a clear path forward.

If you are feeling lost and are not sure what your actions should be, but you know that you need to change something, be patient and wait for clarity. It will come.

Face your fears

It could be that you’re afraid of people not liking the work you produce.

Or what people will think of you or your product (if your fear is business related).

Maybe you think that you don’t measure up or that you don’t deserve to achieve what you want.

The ego part of our brain is on red alert and that wants us to stay in a safe, comfortable place that we know.

That’s also the part of us that wants to be liked and get everything right.

I’ve named that side of me "lazy Susan".

Susan comes up with brilliant excuses not to do things that are outside of my comfort zone.

When she gets overwhelmed with a new situation or a scary situation, I’m kind and reassuring to her.

I recognise the excuses to get out of something and tell her it’s going to be ok.

If you make a mistake, it’s really not going to be the end of the world.

Try and use mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow, and try not to beat yourself up too much.

(This is easier said than done, I'm still working on this one but hindsight and time are always great healers).

Get comfortable with the idea that you might not be perfect or what you present to the world might not be perfect, and that it's really ok.

Facing a fear of rejection gradually can help.

Start with small, manageable risks and gradually challenge yourself with bigger ones.

Improve Knowledge and Skills

Whether it’s gaining knowledge about a subject, learning a new skill, or improving on existing skills, the more you know and can do, the more confident you will feel.

Reading books, watching movies or listening to stories about brave people who faced adversity and then achieved what they set out to, can be really inspiring.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family, pros or mentors as well.

Use your support system to help you in your quest :)

Conclusion

Stepping out of your comfort zone regularly will help to build your bravery over time.

Being braver is a gradual process, it’s okay to take small steps.

Celebrate successes along the way no matter how small they seem.

Practise makes us better at different skills so keep trying new things again and again.

Over time, develop greater courage and bravery in different areas of life.

The cliché saying "achieve anything, if you put your mind to it" is really very true.

Ok, so none of us will become an astronaut overnight but it's surprising how much can be achieved, if you can help your brain beacon to quieten down and be on side.

Every single one of us is a work in progress and that's really ok.

Our time on this planet is so very short, so why shouldn't we be a little bit braver and see where it takes us.

It might lead to greater happiness and huge personal growth, and that's really a chance worth taking.

Go on, you can do it!

It’s been a year since I started my own business.

I know!!

I can’t believe how quickly it’s flown by really, although it does seem a while ago since I had to rush out of the door in the morning, to be somewhere I didn’t want to be.

My 1^st business birthday feels like a good time to pause, and reflect on what I’ve learnt before ploughing on again.

So, what’s it like going from being an employee to running your own business?

Here’s a reflection of the things that I have learnt in the last year (and if you’re a small business owner, you might recognise some of these points):

Not everything has to be perfect

When I started out, I felt like a lot of things had to be in place before I did anything and that everything had to be perfect. That was basically my internal fear talking.

I had to have this in place, I had to have that in place.

My marketing had to be seamless. I needed to know everything, about everything… and so it goes on.

And it’s absolute nonsense!

Striving for perfection is quite exhausting, so working on things as you go along is far more realistic.

Working through the business “to do” list one small step at a time :)

Always being proactive

At the beginning, I knew that I always had to be proactive and that’s how I’ve been throughout my career, so it was no hardship to get in to that mindset.

I updated my LinkedIn Profile with my services, experience and call to action, took the dive into social media, and advertising my services.

It felt incredibly cringeworthy marketing myself, but if I was going to make this a success, this was something that I had to get over and get over very quickly.

I dropped my business details in local Facebook groups to let people know that my services existed.

I asked for reviews from people that I used to work with.

Once the reviews were received, I actively looked for people asking for an assistant or the experience of working with an assistant, in local business groups, and directed them to my LinkedIn profile and reviews 😊

I started to join some networking groups and that’s where my luck started to change.

I was sat in front of my target audience and they could see the value of what I could add to their business or life, which in turn bought me new enquiries… yippee!

Understanding My Passions

It was important to me to offer services that I loved.

As an assistant, there are so many things that clients can ask you to do for them but, for me, if the task isn’t something that I enjoy doing, I won’t do it.

My services are based on my passions. That’s the whole point of starting your own business, you get to choose what you do and don’t do.

Understanding that not all clients are for you.

The same as the fact that not all tasks are for you, the same goes for clients.

Not all clients are for you.

I quickly learnt that if a client doesn’t reflect my values, isn’t very good at communicating, doesn’t treat me very well or like a business owner, or isn’t polite (I'm a stickler for manners) they're probably not for me.

Understanding that clients come and go

In the words of Jo Munro, clients aren’t forever. They come and go, sometimes very quickly.

It can be hard when a client decides that they no longer need my services.

I have recently understood that this isn’t a reflection on me, but something that the client has decided is right for them at that moment in time.

When you are a sole trader, you feel accountable and responsible for absolutely everything so when a client decides to call it a day, you feel responsible.

I’m now learning to look at this as the universe giving me the space to welcome something more exciting in to my working life.

As one door closes, another door always seems to open and that’s how to approach the client merry go round, and approach change positively.

Being responsible for EVERYTHING!

It’s great working on your own because you have no-one to answer to.

However, that’s a two-edged sword because you are also responsible for everything!

It’s difficult to turn the business brain off sometimes, and think about anything else other than business. It can get a little obsessive if you let it.

I’ve recognised, more than ever, that it is important to have a good work life balance, and take some out for myself and my brain.

In the words of Stormzy: “Heavy is the head who wears the crown”, and whilst that’s a bit overdramatic for running a business, it can feel like that sometimes.

Being Ambitious

I’ve always worked incredibly hard, been passionate and cared about what I do throughout my career.

I never really had any great sights, or vision, of where I would like to go or be… until now!

It comes back to sole responsibility again because all of a sudden, I have ambitious drive.

My ambitious drive has been hiding for so long and I've no idea why it never made an appearance before.

Making a success of my business is definitely driving it though.

Acknowledging that some days you just don’t like it.

Some days it’s wonderful working on your own. I can crack on with my tasks without any interruptions.

Other days, I just don’t like it or enjoy it.

I have no-one to bounce ideas around with and no colleagues (other than my long suffering husband, who works in the office next door).

I wonder what the point is, and whether I should just throw in the towel and go and find a job.

This feeling soon passes after a few days though because……

The positive reasons for running your own business

If you’ve got this far, congratulations!

You’re probably thinking, after reading all of the above, why the hell would you want to run your own business?

Well, it’s because the following things far outweigh all of the above - tenfold :)

Driving your own narrative and flexibility

I can decide who I want to work with.

I decide what I want to work on.

It is my decision when I work and when I don’t work.

There’s no need to be somewhere at a specific time of day (unless it’s a client / networking meeting).

I’m learning new skills every day, developing skills I didn’t know I had and improving on my existing skill set.

If I want to work, whilst watching the tennis and simultaneously soaking my feet in a bucket of warm soapy water, I can.

Or alternatively, if I want to work sat in my gym kit whilst eating my breakfast, I can.

(One of my previous bosses wouldn’t let any team members eat at their desk.

Another wouldn’t let you buy a drink for your team mates during your own lunch break!

Time that was your own and you didn’t get paid for.

Both absolute control freaks!!).

I’m also discovering more about myself, enjoying meeting new people and being braver in general.

I will continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, as I go along, whilst trying new things.

So that’s the beauty of running your own business.

It’s hard work, constantly evolving but very rewarding.

If you’re a small business owner and can relate with the above, keep going! We’ve got this!!

If you’re an employee, hopefully this has given you an insight in to the world of what it’s like to be a sole trader.

It’s FREEEEEEDOM!! 😊

How do you motivate yourself?

Setting a particular goal is always useful to get the inner fire stoked up but how do you keep it going?

I have a lazy Susan, and it’s not the table top turner that you use for distributing food at a party.

Although, that would be pretty cool for a cheese board.

Oh no, my lazy Susan is the inner part of myself that is lazy. You know, the voices that you hear in your head when you don’t want to do something.

I’ve named that part of me in order to recognise when it’s happening, when that inner critic voice shows up to sabotage my motivation and progress.

If Susan had her way, I wouldn’t get anything done all day and would probably stay in bed watching TV (I don’t watch a great deal of TV, or stay in bed for a long amount of time these days, so she’s really rebelling to the extreme of my usual behaviour).

Sometimes it can be difficult to recognise when she has rocked up to undo all of my good work so this is how I deal with her :) and how you can deal, and work, with your lazy Susan.

1) Goal Setting -  

Ongoing little goals even if you have a bigger goal in mind.

Firstly, to get motivated about a particular thing, there needs to be something to work towards so you need a goal.

Here’s the thing though, to stay motivated it’s good to have a smaller ongoing goal.

Or smaller steps along the way to reach a bigger goal that you may be chasing, and most importantly, to continue with your smaller steps after that bigger goal has been reached.

Let me explain.

Let’s say you wanted to lose a stone in weight, that’s the big goal.

It’s not going to be a quick fix solution so it’s a long-term goal that has to be worked towards.

The big goal is to lose a stone but to achieve that goal, it’s good idea to approach the bigger goal with smaller steps.

Maybe you decide to exercise more or eat less, or both.

It’s not realistic or sustainable to go from zero exercise a week to exercising 6 times a week.

Nor is it sustainable to lose a stone in a month by eating very little food.

A few, sustainable life style changes would help to achieve your longer term goal, like eating less sugar or doing a little more exercise on a weekly basis.

And, of course, smaller sustainable steps are easier to achieve.

Once you’ve reached your bigger goal, keep up some of your smaller steps as a lifestyle change for good.

Otherwise you put the weight back on, stop all activity and the whole process proves pretty pointless.

2). Recognise your inner Susan and work with her.

To stay motivated, I have learnt to work with my inner Susan by recognising when she shows up the most.

Two of my friends and I used to run on a Monday evening.

Their bigger goal was to train for a 10K race, I joined them with a smaller goal and that was to run with the two of them, every Monday evening.

This was fine in the summer, nice weather, light evenings, us friends spurring each other on.

Running through the fields in the glorious evening sunshine like a blissful washing detergent advert.

When the weather started to change though and it began to get darker earlier… guess who made an appearance?

Yes, you’ve got it.  Old lazy Susan rocked up with a hatful of excuses.

“It’s too cold”.

“It’s too dark”.

“I can’t see where I’m going”.

“We can’t run through the fields as they’re too wet”.

“The pavements are uneven and the street lighting is poor”.

“The weather is miserable, I’d rather sit on the sofa”.

My lazy Susan hates exercising in the evenings, because she has all day to think and moan about it (whilst coming up with every excuse under the sun to get out of it).

After a while, my two friends stopped running as they had ran their 10K race (and because they were only aiming for the bigger goal) so I started to run alone.

I tried another time of day, out in the light on a Saturday or Sunday morning.

And ooooooh, it was lovely.

I enjoyed it, there was no-one around, the birds were singing in the trees.

I could see the pavement and have my run completed and a tick in the box by 10am in the morning, before enjoying the rest of my weekend.

Susan was as quiet as a mouse.  In fact, she didn’t even have time to come up with any excuses.

I was out running before she even knew about it.

My smaller goal now is to run once a week, anytime within a seven day period.

If the weather is rubbish, I can choose another day to run which will keep old lazy Susan at bay.

3) Ignore your inner Susan

There are times when, to get on and stay motivated, I totally ignore my inner Susan.

I go to a Zumba class every Tuesday night and once I’m there, I really love it.

I enjoy the dancing, the social aspect and how it makes me feel afterwards.

Ahead of getting there though, there is an absolute inner battle and that’s with Susan (every. single. week).

That’s because Susan, once again, has all day to come up with excuses to get out of going.

And there was a time where Susan was winning and I wasn’t going to Zumba as regularly as I would have liked to.

These days though, I have her in check because… yep, I ignore her!

I get my kit on and get ready to go to Zumba straight after I’ve finished work, and before I do anything else, on the evening of the class.

That has kept my trips to Zumba more consistent week on week.

Sure, Susan is dragged along kicking and screaming, and coming up with all of the excuses possible to get out of doing the class.

But I ignore her because I know that I will definitely regret not going to the class, more than I will.

Also, I know that I’ll feel great during, and after, the class which leads me nicely to my next point.

4) Focus on the results

If your inner Susan, or negative Nathan, is being super loud and you struggle to keep them in check, try and turn your mind to your reason “why”.

There’s a reason why you set your goal in the first place, or why you wanted to achieve something.

Let’s say you have a large project to finish and you’re struggling with the motivation to get it done.

Imagine the elation you’ll feel once it’s complete and the monkey is off your back?

Plus you’ll get rid of that nagging feeling of it weighing you down, which far outweighs the number of excuses from moaning, lazy Susan.

5) Conclusion:

So, to keep yourself motivated:

- Create yourself smaller bitesize steps to get to a much bigger goal.

- Run the smaller steps alongside, and beyond, the bigger goal to achieve a longer-term lifestyle change and stay motivated.

- Get to know the time of the day that works best for you, for whatever it is that you want to achieve.

- If you work more efficiently between 11am and 1pm, use that time of day for what you want to get done.

- Ignore your lazy, procrastinating inner self whenever necessary.  Go through the motions and do it anyway.

- Focus on the positive results and how you will feel when you achieve both your smaller goals, and the main larger goal :)

That’s all for now, I’m off for a run.. with lazy Susan in tow for at least the first 2km.

Have a good rest of week and thanks for reading.

It's cocktail time!

I just love trying out different cocktail recipes and have a cupboard full of ingredients that have been collected over time.

I used to bake quite a bit but as there are only two of us in the house, other than the cat, we were left with loads of cakes to eat.

Cocktails aren't quite as calorific so that's what I experiment with, for different flavours, these days.

My husband doesn't complain :)

Grand Royal Clover is a different twist on the traditional cocktail - The Clover Club.

The Clover Club is a tangy gin cocktail that was first recorded in 1908, so it's got a long history. It was named after a gentleman's club in Philadelphia. Members of the club included lawyers, writers and politicians.

This classic cocktail fell out of fashion for many years, but has recently had a revival. Thankfully, this drink isn't quite as stuffy as it's boys club name sake.

The sweet combination of the sugar in the Grenadine and sharpness of the lemon, combine to give a lovely sweet / sour flavour.

To make this a Clover Club, swap the Grenadine out for raspberry syrup.

Grenadine is far easier to get hold of.

If you're wondering why egg white is used in cocktails - there's no flavour added, as such, but it gives the drink a creamy, luxurious, frothy texture.

You will need a cocktail shaker to make this drink. The combination of flavours is incredibly moreish🍹🔥

Ingredients - Serves One

2 x 30 ml shots of Gin (we used Three Wrens Raspberry Gin).

1 x 30 ml shot of lemon juice.

1 x 30 ml shot of Grenadine.

1 x egg white

A handful of ice cubes.

1 x lime to decorate.

Method

Chill the glasses in the fridge for 20 minutes before you start.

Add the ice to a cocktail shaker.

Add all of the other ingredients and shake vigorously.

Strain the drink in to the chilled glasses.

Add a twist of lime peel to decorate.

Aaaaaaaaand enjoy, yum ✨

Happy New Year!

I know it's a bit late to be saying that but we're only a few weeks in..…. Anyway, I digress :)

In this blog post, I wanted to talk about setting goals, or objectives, that last beyond January.

There is a lot of noise that is made around setting resolutions (or not), at this time of year.

Where do you stand on this?

Some people like to set resolutions at this time of year and some people don’t, waiting until another time to set them, or not setting any at all.

Others say that resolutions don’t work if you set them in January. From experience, I know that's not true.

Personally, I’m keen to set goals for the year ahead, rather than resolutions, and I’m going to tell you how I make them work for me… and yes, I do set them in January.

Now, these goals could be something that I want to work towards straight away.

Or they could be something that I want to do in the longer term, say some time throughout the year.

The thing with resolutions, or objectives (for me), is that they have to be both smart in choice and  SMART in measurement, so that they work in the longer term.

Let me explain.

It’s bloody miserable enough in January after the pomp of Christmas, without having to give up some of the things we love.

My husband and I took part in dry January a few years ago and, frankly, it felt like the longest month on record, and that the month lasted until March.

We then went back to our bad drinking ways again within a few months, so in the long run it was a bit of a pointless exercise and made us more miserable throughout January, for no reason.

It’s a bit like going on a crash diet and eating carrots and cucumber for the first two months of the year.

Only to scoff cake / Easter eggs / anything you can get your hands on, from March until June.

Unless you’re going to quit vices for good, cutting back should be gradual.

Therefore, my objectives have to be smart in that they are actually sustainable, but they also have to be SMART so that they can be achieved.

Most people in the corporate world are aware of SMART objectives and use them regularly for business.

However, SMART is rarely associated with personal goals or resolutions.

For those who aren’t aware, SMART is:

- Specific

- Measurable

- Achievable

- Realistic

- Time-bound

I think achievable and realistic stand out more for me, along with being time-bound.

Sustainable is key though so I’d like to put in a petition to change the traditional SMART to SMARTS :)

If you don’t want to hang yourself out to dry, it’s good to focus on SMART objectives to concentrate your efforts on, but also to give yourself plenty of time to achieve what you’re after.

Slow and steady, small steps and sustainable is the way to go.

Objectives and goals over resolutions:

The other thing that I like to do is challenge myself or to learn something new, or make better use of my time.  Rather than just giving something up for a short period of time.

The thing about objectives rather than setting resolutions, is about enjoying life but at the same time, bettering yourself as well.

Some of the objectives that I’ve set myself over recent years, have included:

- Running once a week.

- Reading more books.

- Learning to read music and learning to play the piano.

- Learning a new language.

I’ve been running regularly for over three years now. There were some months where I didn’t run once a week.

Sometimes life gets in the way and that’s ok. However, I have kept my activities going and that’s the key.

There is a difference between life getting in the way and making excuses though.

Prior to 2020, I didn’t really read at all so that was an easy goal to achieve.  I don’t read much but still read regularly (and far more than I used to).

In 2022, my objective was to learn to speak French so Duo Lingo was installed on my phone and my French learning has endured, throughout the year, at a slow and steady pace.

Making time once a week to do something, or whatever frequency you choose, is the way to go.... even if it's for 15 minutes at a time.  

Small steps :)

If you want to make resolutions, objectives or goals for the year in January, they can be successful and long lasting.

It just pays to be SMART, make sure they're sustainable and get out there and try new things, without setting yourself up to fail from the start.

And if you want to know how to stay motivated, well that’s a whole different kettle of fish and we’ll come back to that another day.

Thanks for reading.

At the beginning of last year, I was feeling fed-up in my corporate Executive Assistant role.

Whilst I was lucky to remain employed during the pandemic, all of the exciting parts of my Assistant role had dried up.

You know, the fun stuff like arranging travel and events, dinners, parties, buying gifts, the socialising, the buzz of organising.  It was all, well ........ gone!

For the time being anyway.

Instead, I was left with dull boring tasks to complete and I knew that it was time for a change.

The problem was that the pandemic had spoilt me a little, and like a lot of us, had hugely shifted my perspective.

Being able to stay in bed for slightly longer and fit in an exercise class, in my own living room, before "travelling" to work (which was only down one flight of stairs) to the office, was really very nice.

I didn’t want to go back to the early starts and rushing around again in the mornings.

Or travelling to work to sit in a cold, dark office whilst being given more boring tasks to complete.

My new job plan needed a different take and a different angle to create something that was not only challenging but also enabled me to drive my own narrative.

I knew that I didn't want to be stuck in the same cycle again six months down the line, and that’s when it came to me (one dark morning in that cold office).

A brainwave that I’d never contemplated before……perhaps… perhaps I could start my own assistant business??

Yeeeeees!! Of course! (huge light bulb moment).  Why hadn’t I thought about this before?

Shortly after this lightbulb moment, what felt like a hundred and fifty questions came to mind.

Like. A. flood!

How would I do this?

What would I need?

What would I have to set up, to get going?

What services could I offer?

How much should I charge and most importantly...

Where on earth could I find clients that would actually want my services  (let alone pay for them)?

I set off, like a crazed woman, in the hunt for knowledge.

Taking free business courses where I could and spending my spare time researching on the internet.

I came across a number of different websites that had VA courses (some free, some not) and all of the details needed to think about setting up a business.

I digested it all like a hungry knowledge monster so that I could make my own plans.

Obviously, I knew how to be a PA as I’d worked in an Executive Assistant role for years.

I needed to get a different mindset though, and that mindset was from being an employee, to becoming a small business owner.

The realisation was both exciting and, quite frankly, scary.

It did feel like I was walking off a cliff with absolutely no safety net, whatsoever.

The thought of relying on myself and not having a steady wage coming in every month, was both frightening and overwhelming.

How would I pay the bills, and still have a life?

Would I ever be able to afford to go the hairdressers ever again?!

Nevertheless, it was time to set to work.

I quickly came to the conclusion that these were the physical items that I would need, to get started in my VA business:

- A laptop

- A bank account

- A mobile phone

That was it.  Not a great deal of expenditure there.

Secondly, other things to think about before getting going:

I needed:

- A business name

- To create a brand linked to the business name including..

- A logo

- Business Cards?

- A website…would I need a website?

First things, first…

A business name. What would I call my Assistant business?

My offering was going to help my potential clients to regain some of their time.

To help busy people to outsource some of their work so that could have more time to do other things. That’s what assistants help with.

I wanted my business name to be time related, a call to action to my customers that help was available, if they were struggling to find enough time in the day.

I also wanted to have the word “bee” to be part of the name, as my name Melissa means “Honey Bee” in Greek.

After a bit of deliberation, and a brainstorming session with my husband, we came up with the name “Bee Time Clever”.

I also wanted a punchy strapline to go with the name, just three words that busy people could relate to. What benefit would my services bring to them?

“Bee Time Clever” - “Get time back”  That was it, short, punchy and meaningful.

A call to action for my potential clients and the main benefit of using my services in the strapline… and behold!

My business idea was born :) and I was ready to set of on a new adventure by becoming my own boss.

I will tell you more about my new adventure in a future blog post.

For now, thank you for taking the time to read this.